I know you are asking, why in the world didn’t you simply walk away? Why didn’t you tell someone? Friends, parents, the police? I asked myself that many times when I was finally out of the situation. I also realize clearly now why people sometimes fracture their personalities to cope with situations. Sometimes you have to become a different person because your life depends on it. Hopefully, this narrative will make it a bit clearer why people who are in abusive situations don’t simply leave.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
While this may be hard to read for some, it's cathartic in many ways for me having lived it. It is finally time to put it down in writing and share what I went through so many years ago. Thank you for reading and commenting. If you haven't read them already here is Part 1 and Part 2.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Our dreams as children were filled with people that we admired. Cartoon heroes, people we saw on tv or people we were around and were very important to us. They shaped how we wanted to grow up and who we wanted to be like. In many cases, they gave us paths to follow into adulthood.
As we grow up, we seem to tend to forget who our heroes are/were. Being so busy with family and career our heroes and dreams sometimes fall behind and lay scattered behind us like dust in the wind. Once scattered, they are hard to reclaim, focus and remember.
Monday, April 23, 2012
This is Part 2 in a Series. If you would like to read Part 1 please click here.
It was 8 months before the monster appeared again. The seasons changed, a new semester came with new classes and new stresses. The first semester’s routine gave way to new schedules and I was adapting to the fact that each new semester would bring it’s own unique challenges.
The incident so long ago, had been buried deep in my subconscious. I had almost but not quite forgotten that it had even occurred. He had come up for a visit over the weekend about a month before the semester’s end. We were sitting in his car talking as he was getting ready to leave. One thing led to another and we were arguing as couples do. One minute I was sitting there in the passenger seat listening to his voice get uglier and uglier as the argument wore on. The next thing I knew I was laying across the passenger seat, my back against the door and his hands were around my throat. It happened so fast again that it took me completely by surprise.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
The summer before college was a whirlwind of activity. I could taste freedom. I was going to be away from home for the first time ever. It was bittersweet, scary and exhilarating all at the same time. I relished the new experiences that emerged from the newfound independence.
I met him at a summer dance at the lake. He was blue eyed, smiling and charming. He had a great sense of humor and seemed to be the perfect companion in every way. We started dating and I was worried that we would only have the summer but then ecstatic when I realized he was attending a college within 30 minutes of where I was attending college.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Every day I have random thoughts that come to me that I think, "I need to blog about that." I tend to email them to myself so that I don’t forget. I literally have at least 50 things in a folder right now. I go to the folder and whatever feels like it calls to me or needs to be written gets to be typed out. Sometimes I do research and educate people, but more often than not, I write things that happen around me that come from my heart.
Today, I went to look at all these ideas and none of them jump out at me. I keep going back to a post by a dear friend on facebook. It is a poignant and a bit melancholy post that has had me thinking all day long about how truly short life is.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Today I was pleasantly surprised by the kindness of many strangers. The kids and I had volunteered at the Texas Trash Off which I will blog about later and post. I promised the kids a cupcake reward for being such great first time volunteers, so we were in the car on the way to Cupcake Junkie.
We rounded the bend on 29th Street after passing the Hilton hotel and happened to see an older man on a hoveround type chair in the oncoming car lane. There was another bend which would keep oncoming cars from seeing him and I was about to say this out loud when we saw him bump into the curb on accident and fall over onto the ground. There is no sidewalk on either side of this road for him to have been on instead of the road, so his fall left him off his chair on the grass and his chair sticking out into the road.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
I recently started riding a bicycle again after more than twenty years. You can read about that here. While my kids were ecstatic that we would be able to get outside on our bicycles together, there were some apparent misgivings and concern on their part.
Before we even got out of the store with the purchase, my son was already asking “Mom do you think you can remember how to ride this?” This is my kiddo that has a lot of intuition so maybe he was simply tuning into my own worry that it might take me a bit to re-learn the skills necessary. However, I really wasn’t thrilled to have the concern voiced aloud and in public no less.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Today I rediscovered the sheer joy of riding a bicycle again. Not only did we find a brand new 26” Cruiser bike in my favorite color, but it was also on sale! The frame is light aluminum and it’s purple!! It also has the larger, more comfortable seat. Now all I need is a rack or a basket on the front to carry small items and I’ll be set.
With safety in mind and of course to set an example, I did purchase a hot pink helmet as well. Now I can cycle with the kids. We did in fact get out today to the park down the street. We figured out how to use bungee cords to tie our water bottles to the handlebars which was really super handy. I know they make holders but this worked in a pinch and I thought it was a rather ingenious “MacGyver” sort of move.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
This used to be all the rage. You as the amazing hostess received all kinds of freebies and perks for hosting a party in your home. The first party I attended of this nature was a Pampered Chef party back in the mid 90’s. I loved it! What was better than food, friends and learning how to use some amazing kitchen gadgets to make meals?
This was so fun as a matter of fact, I hosted my own party then used my credit to start my own Pampered Chef business. The products of course are fantastic if a little on the pricey side. However, I still have my original stoneware and gadgets I received in my kit today. I’d say that was a pretty good return on my investment of which I paid very little due to the hostess credit.
Friday, April 6, 2012
My career started out as a gopher with my grandfather’s oil field business. I did whatever they told me to do and I was glad to get a paycheck. I filled in for the secretaries when they were on vacation in the summer and I ran to do all kinds of errands once I could drive. It definitely wasn’t the most glamorous job on the planet. I was so proud of my first paycheck I copied it and framed it. I’ve still got it somewhere.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
So today I had one of those moments. I was in the car on the way home, and normally there is absolutely nothing good on the radio. Often I am forced to change out cd’s to listen to something worthwhile. However, today I changed the channel and was instantly transported back in time.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Getting ready for bedtime or getting kids up and ready for school are always hectic times it seems. A Mom is not able to heave a sigh of relief until the last kiddo is kissed and tucked in or seen safely into the school.
When my kids were little, hugs were frequent every day. Children are extremely affectionate creatures if you foster that behavior. I was never so happy when I was pregnant to find an old rocking chair that I used to rock both kiddos to sleep. I remember those days fondly, in the dim light of a nightlight in a quiet room. I rocked them both to sleep, baby to toddler stage. As they got older, simply rocking and cuddling with them as their own special time with Mom are precious memories.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
We as parents, entrust our children each day into the care of the school system. Whether the school of choice is public or private, they all have one thing in common – Teachers.
Every profession has it’s ups and downs. Every job has people that just go in for a paycheck while others work their behinds off for every penny they make. This is true universally across the board.
However, I want to take a few minutes to thank all those who are shaping the minds of our children. I think a lot of them work harder than most of us, then go home to their families where they go through the process again. They put a lot of themselves into their classrooms with their time and own money. They deal with school rules and regulations and they see things that there isn’t enough time in a day to change so they do what they can.