A Survivor’s Story, there is Hope – Domestic Violence Awareness Month October 2013

I am a survivor of Domestic Violence. It took me a long time to finally be able to say that or even type it for that matter. Why even say or type it you ask? Because it is important for those who may be in that situation now or may become victims know that people do survive. It is important that we share our stories so that others may open their own eyes and see if there is abuse in their relationships. Or even see that it is happening to a loved one. I hid it from my loved ones for years. It took me years to come to terms with what happened. Some of it was shame, some anger and some was just plainly not admitting it to myself. Sweeping it under the rug like it did not happen does not solve anything.

Bewildered ~ Peace at Last on the Long Road to Healing (Part 6)

While this may be hard to read for some, it's cathartic in many ways for me having lived it. It is finally time to put it down in writing and share what I went through so many years ago. Thank you for reading and commenting. If you haven't read them already here is Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 and Part 5.

I was in denial for a while after all this happened. I felt like everything was fine. He was gone and out of my life. I had no reason to be depressed or upset or angry. However, I had every right to be all those things and more. My self esteem was damaged and I had no earthly clue that I was in the most vulnerable state I’d ever been in. Even more vulnerable than the night he busted my lip and blackened my eye.

Bewildered ~ The Monster Won’t Let Go (Part 5)

While this may be hard to read for some, it's cathartic in many ways for me having lived it. It is finally time to put it down in writing and share what I went through so many years ago. Thank you for reading and commenting. If you haven't read them already here is Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4.

Breaking up in a regular relationship is hard enough. Adding in the emotional rollercoaster of abuse into the equation and that makes it ten times as hard. As Paul Harvey was so fond of saying “and now the rest of the story.”

Bewildered – The Monster Erupts (Part 4)

While this may be hard to read for some, it's cathartic in many ways for me having lived it. It is finally time to put it down in writing and share what I went through so many years ago. Thank you for reading and commenting. If you haven't read them already here is Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3.

There comes a point where something happens that is so terrible, it smacks you hard into reality causing you to finally see clearly and precisely what direction you must go. This is the story of the last night, the last straw that broke the camel’s back.

Bewildered – The Monster Lurks (Part Three)

While this may be hard to read for some, it's cathartic in many ways for me having lived it. It is finally time to put it down in writing and share what I went through so many years ago. Thank you for reading and commenting. If you haven't read them already here is Part 1 and Part 2.

I know you are asking, why in the world didn’t you simply walk away? Why didn’t you tell someone? Friends, parents, the police? I asked myself that many times when I was finally out of the situation. I also realize clearly now why people sometimes fracture their personalities to cope with situations. Sometimes you have to become a different person because your life depends on it. Hopefully, this narrative will make it a bit clearer why people who are in abusive situations don’t simply leave.

Bewildered – The Monster Lurks (Part Two)

This is Part 2 in a Series. If you would like to read Part 1 please click here.

It was 8 months before the monster appeared again. The seasons changed, a new semester came with new classes and new stresses. The first semester’s routine gave way to new schedules and I was adapting to the fact that each new semester would bring it’s own unique challenges.

The incident so long ago, had been buried deep in my subconscious. I had almost but not quite forgotten that it had even occurred. He had come up for a visit over the weekend about a month before the semester’s end. We were sitting in his car talking as he was getting ready to leave. One thing led to another and we were arguing as couples do. One minute I was sitting there in the passenger seat listening to his voice get uglier and uglier as the argument wore on. The next thing I knew I was laying across the passenger seat, my back against the door and his hands were around my throat. It happened so fast again that it took me completely by surprise.

Bewildered – The Monster Lurks (Part One)

The summer before college was a whirlwind of activity. I could taste freedom. I was going to be away from home for the first time ever. It was bittersweet, scary and exhilarating all at the same time. I relished the new experiences that emerged from the newfound independence.

I met him at a summer dance at the lake. He was blue eyed, smiling and charming. He had a great sense of humor and seemed to be the perfect companion in every way. We started dating and I was worried that we would only have the summer but then ecstatic  when I realized he was attending a college within 30 minutes of where I was attending college.